Promises promises

....or should I say, "Resolutions resolutions...." I promised myself - ahem - resolved to write in my blog, 'frequently' this year. Why? Well because 2011 is the start of my life, at least that's how I feel - more so than I've ever felt before. The last entry, i.e. the first I wrote was all about how I had quit my job to seek out an idea - to really make something of myself. I was so naive - I AM so naive but I'm doing it! And by the way - this blog writing stuff? Having the reader read and think I'm something isn't the idea, it's no self fulfilling prophecy, it's more a challenge to myself - created to track me in what I'm doing. This is way more for me than for you (is there a "you" ?) - TRUST.

Here I am approximately 2 months and 1 week into job resolution - mind you, when I gave my two weeks notice, it creeped into 6 weeks. We all thought the 6 week window was a welcome opportunity to hire, then train my replacement....low and behold 6 weeks in, came my last day - nearly all contact had been lost with my boss and "mentor" and I quickly discovered that 6 week window? It was only a stretch of time dreamt up in order for others to try and convince me my place was in fact at that specific company. Convincing attempts came complete with me winning a prize including a lump some of cash! Not complaining, but not staying! I'm relieved I didn't fall for any of the shenanigans. Then again, I suppose if I had it would have shown me and everyone around me that I wasn't ready for the challenge of entrepreneurship. But I'm ready.

Friday, January 14th was my last day. Some wonderful's from my office took me out to get wasted, then proceeded to post some VERY let's just call it was it was, UGLY, photos of me the next day - displaying my debauchery complete with squinty eyes and a mouth that is most definitely drooling as well as slurring any words that came to mind at the particular moment in time. With the exception of a less than five minute convo with HR regarding my unsolicited advice about how my roll would be filled, my last day was just like any other - OH and the fact my computer was SHUT off at 5:30 on the dot. That didn't suck! I was of the mind set, that me finishing my work wasn't important enough to these people so "F it!" Let's move on.

Monday the 17th, I was ready to dive in. Friends, supporters, were texting me and inquiring as to how my first day of the rest of my life was going....I sheepishly replied, "It's Martin Luther King Junior Day - day off." Its true, my family was off from work, so of course I'm going to spend the day with them....but it was kind of funny. Lucky for me, I've been seriously busting my ass ever since the following Tuesday (the 18th) and things are really starting to happen!

What is this mysterious idea of mine?

Wellllll..I have to go to work - so I'll tell you later

Day After Resignation

I’m not quite sure what the something else is at this point in time but…its true – I quit my job today. Technically, it was yesterday, but I was too caught up in my overwhelming joy to actually sit down and write a blog entry…my first blog entry. It was an idea I came up with as I was making a mental checklist of all the things I wanted to do now that I put myself in such a predicament as this, the loss of a job. Furthermore, the loss of a job – by choice! I was making perfectly good money, at a global ad agency full of media, good people and benefits; and I quit.

My decision was no surprise to me as I knew this wasn’t the job for me by about lunch time on day 1; I made up my mind the minute the lady training me, we’ll call her Tonie, told me the phone was essentially my bosom buddy and that I was expected to watch upwards of 18 lines in 6 different offices from 8 -5 every day, but as she liked to put it, “I get here at about 6:30 every morning and rarely leave before 6 at night…”

“YeahNo - this isn’t happening. We’ll see how long this lasts…” I thought.

I’ve never considered myself to be a quitter, I just know what I want out of life-or sometimes I don’t-but I do know exactly what I don’t want.

Anyhoo I agonizingly debated & hypothesized for months. I went back and forth trying to convince myself that times are really tough, and the economy is really shitty and that I should just stick it out. After all, the chances for growth were unlimited! So many people sat in my seat before me and are now practically running the company – right?! This is so exciting. Or at least it could be. If I wanted to run a humongously rich and popular - super cliché yet cool, cruel and unusual corporate world full of rules, hypocrisy, undermining, and again….wealth. But that’s not I want. It's true - after being laid off for 15 months, all the while pursuing endeavors I knew nothing about, there were an approximate five minutes that made me think I might want to be part of the wealth that coincides with corporate America. When I found myself a part of it, I recognized exactly why I’ve tried to keep my distance from it all these years of my own free thinking. I want to work for me. I want to support me, create for me, and build for me. I want to get big enough where I need to apply my own rules, but do it my way. It’s every entrepreneur’s dream – and I am no exception. I am an entrepreneur…..

And I’ve got an idea.

So I quit!

I have a lot of exciting things in store but I have a lot of work and learning in front of me. I’m intimidated that I may forget how to proceed. That I may fall off track. That I won’t balance my time efficiently and that I will trail off from my goal. These are the reaons I have decided to write about my experience. My boyfriend has started an insurance agency and lost 83 pounds this year in 2010. The agency was pie (making money is another story), but the weight loss took many things – one of them being accountability. So that is what I’m doing, I’m simply making myself accountable. If I write down what my goals are, my actions toward meeting those goals, and progress seen along the way perhaps, when the going gets tough, or the tough fall off the trail, I’ll be more likely to remember the excitement of the beginning, of these moments and chase away the fear and fading imagination.